


Day 11 - Crying

by broken_fannibal



Series: Whumptober 2020 [5]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: (That needs to be a tag), (that too), Alec Hardy & Ellie Miller Are Best Friends, Alec Hardy Needs A Hug, Alec Hardy Whump, Crying, Depression, Gen, Hugs, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Alec Hardy, Whump, Whumptober 2020, affection-starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_fannibal/pseuds/broken_fannibal
Summary: Ellie finds Alec crying on his bed. Despite his protests, she does her best to be there for him.
Relationships: Alec Hardy & Daisy Hardy, Alec Hardy & Ellie Miller
Series: Whumptober 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949557
Comments: 12
Kudos: 62
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Day 11 - Crying

**Author's Note:**

> and yay! I've finished another fic that's been in my wips for a long time! (since June 2020 this time)

When she had walked towards his hut, she’d wondered why the lights were all off, she’d thought that maybe he was asleep already.

But when she saw him, her heart skipped a beat.

Alec sat on his bed, hunched over, head in his hands. His shoulders shook, his entire body trembled, his sobs were the only sound in the otherwise quiet house. They seemed to bounce off the walls, echoing, getting louder and louder. More despairing.

What was going on?

His hands dropped, now dangling limply between his knees, revealing his tear-streaked face.

What had happened?

He bit his lip to stifle a sob. It came out as a broken whimper.

Her heart clenched painfully. What could have possibly happened that turned Alec Hardy of all people into a sobbing mess?

Slowly, she walked closer.

He didn’t seem to notice, didn’t seem to be aware of anything. He wiped over his cheeks, but then his lower lip wobbled and new tears ran down his face. He covered it with his hands, crying, sobbing and trembling.

Ellie sat down next to him and reached out, to touch his back, to soothe him. “Alec, what-”

She didn’t get further because he jumped, a little startled scream escaped him. He stared at her with wide, blood-shot eyes. It took a few seconds until he caught himself. Abruptly, he turned his back to her and began frantically wiping over his eyes.

“You don’t have to hide…” She gently touched his shoulder.

He gave a dismissive noise and made no move to turn around.

She sighed. Of course, he wouldn’t budge. But neither would she. She’d stay here with him and comfort him as well as she could. She fished the tissues from her bag. “Here you go.” Gently, she bumped the package against his shoulder.

Alec turned his head and quickly pulled a tissue out. With shaking hands, he wiped over his eyes, his face and blew his nose.

When he was done, he sniffled and tossed the crumpled tissue on the floor next to his feet. His shoulder slumped, he gave a weary sigh. And then he stared at his hands where they lay wrung together in his lap.

Silence spread between them.

Ellie swallowed hard. “Do you want to talk?” she asked softly.

He took a rattling breath, she saw him tear up again. “No.” His voice sounded wrecked.

Who knew for how he had been crying… The thought alone made her sadder. “Okay.” She made sure to keep her voice quiet and gentle. Slowly, she reached out to caress his back. This time he didn’t pull away. He even turned back around a little.

Not long after, he began to tremble, little shivers ran down his spine. His hands were shaking too. It didn’t take long until tears filled his eyes and ran down his cheeks again.

It was then that she decided she needed to do something. He was miserable and it hurt seeing him like this. What he needed was a hug.

So she wrapped an arm around him and pulled into a sideways hug. But his shoulder dug into her chest and it was overall uncomfortable. Impractical, too.

The only other option… well, he'd definitely protest. But he needed a hug, some comfort to ride out whatever this was, so that was what he’d get. She quickly got up, took off her coat, bag and shoes and moved to sit down in his lap.

He jumped and sputtered. When he had somewhat caught himself, he rasped: “Miller, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? You need a hug.” Before he could protest further or she could overthink it, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. She caressed his back, rubbing soothing circles between his shoulder blades.

There was a small, muffled sound from where his face was pressed into her shoulder, she couldn’t tell if it was protest or something else.

Soon he started to tremble again, his shoulders shook.

Her fingers brushed through the short hair at the back of his neck as she wrapped an arm firmly around his shoulders.

He whimpered and pressed his face closer, his hands shot to her waist, clenching in the fabric.

Her eyes widened. What had happened? Slowly, she ran her fingers over the back of his neck again.

A great shiver ran through him, his shoulders twitched, a sob escaped him. He pushed even closer.

That had to mean she was doing it right, didn’t it?

It was so strange, seeing him like this. Worrying, too. It was like him at all…But here he was, shaking and crying in her arms while she held him.

Ellie didn’t know how long they had sat like this, but slowly he seemed to calm down. His breathing was still a little irregular, she heard him sniffle a little but his face stayed pressed against her shoulder. She continued running her hand over his back. She would for as long as he needed it, until he pushed her away.

“Dad?”

They both jumped and looked up.

Daisy stood in the door.

When had she come in?

They remained frozen for a moment, then Alec started pushing at her and she took the cue to get off his lap. She sat down next to him while he tried to dry his face as quickly as possible.

Slowly, Daisy came closer, worry etched into her features. “What happened?” Her voice was so quiet, a little shaky even.

Alec stared at his hands. “Don’t want to talk about it.” New tears welled up in his eyes.

Daisy turned to look at her, no doubt hoping she would be able to tell her, that surely Alec would have told her. But she shook her head. “I don’t know. He wouldn’t say.”

Daisy looked back at her father, her expression even more worried.

He avoided looking at her. Instead, he picked up the tissue from the floor and stumbled to the bathroom.

They both looked after him.

Ellie felt the mattress dip, Daisy had sat down next to her.

She wished she could tell her something, anything to ease her worry.

“Was there something at work today?” Daisy asked, her voice so small.

She just wanted to pull her into a hug… “No. Nothing I can think of.”

Daisy’s shoulders slumped, she stared at the floor.

Ellie took her hand and squeezed it. That got her a small smile. It was something.

Then they heard the bathroom door open. Alec came back.

For a moment, the three of them looked at each other.

“What now?” he asked as he stood next to the bed, awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other.

His voice still sounded a little rough, but he looked better, his face wasn’t as blotchy and red anymore, he stood more upright. “I don’t know. Do you need another hug?” she offered.

He turned his head away. “No, I’m fine.” He swallowed hard before looking at her again. “It helped a lot. Thank you.”

She smiled. “You’re welcome. Any time.”

A small smile formed on his face.

Immediately, she felt her own smile widen. It was so good to hear, to see she’d managed to make him feel better.

She grabbed her shoes and put them on, then gathered her coat and bag. “Will you be alright?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” She slung her bag over her shoulder. “See you tomorrow then.”

Silently, he walked her to the door and waved when she turned back at the gate.

She hoped he would be alright… He wasn’t alone, but the way she knew him he wouldn’t want to “burden” Daisy with whatever had shaken him so badly.

* * *

His heart grew heavy when he turned back and saw Daisy, still sitting there on the bed. Looking confused and a little lost.

“What was that? What’s going on?” she asked quietly.

He sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it, Daiz. I’m sorry.” He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her.

She leaned in and rested her head against his shoulder.

It made him feel a little calmer, eased the weight on his chest.

“Did you call her?” she asked into the quiet.

A small frown flicked over his features. “Hm?”

Daisy leaned back a little. “Did you call Ellie?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why she came here. She was just there all of a sudden. Really startled me.”

She nodded and wrapped her arms around him, her eyes closed as she rested her head against his chest.

He kissed the top of her head and held her tighter. It calmed him to have her close. His daughter. His daughter who he loved so much.

It took a while but then she started moving again, leaning back and looking into his eyes. Her expression was so serious…

“Call her if this happens again and I’m not here.”

He averted his eyes.

“Promise me you will.”

She read him too easily… He nervously licked his lips, ready to protest, to come up with some excuse.

“Why not? You said yourself that having her here helped!”

Alec sighed. It was true, it had. But… no. He couldn’t. He simply couldn't. He pulled back his hands and rubbed over his face. “I don’t- It’s-“ he broke off. He took a deep, steadying breath. His heart hammered painfully against his ribcage. “I can’t- It’s- it’s hard to reach out.”

“Why?”

His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes. She wouldn’t understand, she didn't know what it was like...

“Dad, please. Can you explain? Help me understand?” A desperate tone found itself into her voice.

He took another deep breath and wiped over his eyes. His throat felt like it was closing up. “Makes me feel like I’m a burden. And it’s embarrassing. And awkward,” he mumbled.

He felt her hand on his arm. “But Ellie would gladly help you. And so would I.”

Tears prickled in his eyes. What had he done to deserve this? To deserve these kind people in his life? These kind people who wanted to help him, who wanted to be there for him, who actually _liked_ him. “It feels like that. Like I’m asking too much.”

Daisy wrapped her arms around him again. “I’m here, you can always ask me. You’re not a burden.”

He felt like his heart was about to burst, he fought tears. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. “Thanks.”

"And I’m sure Ellie feels the same," Daisy said quietly.

He nodded. She had said it, hadn't she? _'You're welcome. Any time.'_ He blinked the tears away. _'Any time.'_ He sniffled.

After a while, he yawned. He couldn't stifle it. Weariness and fatigue caught up with him. He squeezed her a little. "Need to get up early tomorrow, I should sleep."

She leaned back and smiled at him. "Okay." She leaned up for a quick peck on the cheek before getting up. "Good night, dad."

"Night, darling."

He watched her walk away, still feeling the warmth of her embrace.

But as soon as the door closed, he felt the sadness, the darkness reaching out, trying to take hold of him now that he was alone again.

But he held onto the memory of her and Ellie hugging him. They cared about him. They were there for him. They liked him. They knew him and still, they liked him. _He wasn't alone._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it please consider leaving kudos/comments! <3


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